As a working mother of two I've often felt that I am constantly in fast-forward. Whether at home or work, I've found myself rushing from one task to the next, wolfing down food and even scheduling my toilet breaks! It makes my head spin and leaves me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.
I'm over it. So this year I'm finding ways to press pause, to jump of modern society's merry-go-round and to simply slow down.
Many people are now advocating slowing down. It is a growing trend. They don't suggest doing everything at a snail's pace, but instead recommend we take time out of our busy schedules to really be in the moment. It’s about quality over quantity, in everything from work to food to parenting.
I think these people are on to something.
For example, instead of scheduling numerous co-curricular activities for the kids, squeezing in extra sessions at the gym and skipping our lunch, we could simply sit down and play with our children, go for a walk and ensure that, at least once a day, we sit and savour our food in the company of others.
These people also argue that due to the fast pace of modern life and our increased use of technology, we are failing to make meaningful connections with others and what is going on around us. They highlight our need to reconnect with people, their and our lives and the natural world.
In the past people did seem to have a much simpler, slower paced existence and to be more connected (connected in real life, rather than via social media), with more people, such as their extended family or neighbours. Perhaps we need to look back to find ways to move forward in our daily lives.
As I said, I'm making changes. I have not quit my job. I'm not that brave. I haven't moved to the middle of nowhere to only eat what I grow, make my own clothes and bake my own bread. I'm not that talented. And I like shopping. And eating out. And meeting for drinks in the city. I'm not placing a ban on watching TV at home. I love Coronation Street too much and the other household members would probably riot.
However, I am making changes. Just small, simple changes, but these have already started to make a big difference.
Below I have listed 5 very simple and easy changes I've made to try to slow down.
1. Do nothing for fifteen minutes after waking up.
I take fifteen minutes when I first wake up to just sit with my thoughts and ease into my day. As a mother to a toddler and a preschooler, this doesn't always work. However, I set my alarm fifteen minutes earlier than when they usually wake up, and have found that I can often sneak into the living room as my family sleep.
I sit in the silence, with a cup of tea, snuggled under a blanket. It's lovely to take a breath before jumping into the morning rush and the sense of urgency that accompanies it.
2. Choose an activity you usually multi-task and do only that.
I chose playing with my wee ones. I would often be folding laundry, wiping down surfaces, clearing things away as I directed my children towards activities that would keep them busy. Now, even if it is for a short time each day, or during the weekend, I sit and play with my girls and allow myself to be fully in the moment.
If my overactive mind tries to remind me of all the chores I need to do, I tell myself certain things to stay in the moment: Enjoying this moment is my only task; there is nowhere to get to—right now I am here, just be; I will allow myself to relax and enjoy these precious moments with my girls. And I do. It brings me so much pleasure to stay in the moment, to see the girls faces light up with happiness, to hear their laughter, to feel their little hands in mine.
3. Try to say no to things more often, so you and your family have time to be spontaneous.
We are trying to ensure we have some unplanned, technology free time as a family, so we can be spontaneous. It's tricky. The working week is busy, even Saturdays are busy: dance class for my oldest, my husband manages a school's sport team, the house has fell into disarray after a week at work. So we have made Sunday our unplanned time.
We often spend Sundays connecting with the extended family, but we do this in a variety of ways. We decide on the day: to go for a morning walk; or meet in a cafe for brunch; or spend the afternoon at the beach; or meet at someone's house for a roast; or do none of the above and just hang out, sometimes staying in our pjs for the whole day! Basically we allow ourselves time to do what we feel like.
Having the time to do spontaneous things and being able to choose to do as much, or as little as we want, has been a tonic. It gives us a break from, what can feel like, a punishing and never ending regime.
I'm still trying to work out how to get more of this if you have any ideas?
4. Do less
It's hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. So I have made a conscious effort to do less, to focus on what’s really important and let go of the rest. As a start I have decided to: simply shut the door on any mess in the bedrooms during the working week and focus on keeping the main living areas straight; I keep dinner simple; soup, salad and bread is fine; I usually bathe the kids every other night unless they are really dirty.
I am trying to silence my inner critic as I do these things, I'll never satisfy her, so I am not going to bother trying.
5. Spend more time outside, enjoying nature
Many of us spend most of our time in an office, in a car and in our houses, rarely getting the chance to go outside. When we are outside we often rush from A to B, talk on our phones or mentally make to-do lists so, we are not really taking in what is going on around us.
As a family we are trying to make the time to go outside and enjoy nature. We have found it clears the head and makes us feel like we are escaping the rat race for a while. We are very lucky to live in New Zealand, stunning natural beauty is always only a short drive away.
However, we don't want to do this only when we have the time to make a day trip somewhere. We want to feel like we are 'getting away from it all' on a regular basis. So, we have started to take short leisurely walks in the local park and found that this can have the same effect as a trip to a renowned site of natural beauty.
We make a conscious effort to breathe in the fresh air, feel the sun on our faces and the wind in our hair, to slow down and take the time to really look around us. Cheesy? Yes! That's ok though, especially when your with little kiddies. Does it help us to chill out? Definitely. As short as they are, I genuinely think these walks are bringing back a sense of balance to our lives.
So there you have them, my first five simple steps towards a simpler and slower future. I'd love to here from people who are doing or have done things to simplify and slow down their lives. I would love to here your suggestions as to how I can build on these little acorns. There is strength in numbers.
Did you enjoy this article? If so please sign up for my newsletter below and like my Facebook page.
Thanks,
Karen - Raising a Kiwi Princess
I'm over it. So this year I'm finding ways to press pause, to jump of modern society's merry-go-round and to simply slow down.
Many people are now advocating slowing down. It is a growing trend. They don't suggest doing everything at a snail's pace, but instead recommend we take time out of our busy schedules to really be in the moment. It’s about quality over quantity, in everything from work to food to parenting.
I think these people are on to something.
For example, instead of scheduling numerous co-curricular activities for the kids, squeezing in extra sessions at the gym and skipping our lunch, we could simply sit down and play with our children, go for a walk and ensure that, at least once a day, we sit and savour our food in the company of others.
These people also argue that due to the fast pace of modern life and our increased use of technology, we are failing to make meaningful connections with others and what is going on around us. They highlight our need to reconnect with people, their and our lives and the natural world.
In the past people did seem to have a much simpler, slower paced existence and to be more connected (connected in real life, rather than via social media), with more people, such as their extended family or neighbours. Perhaps we need to look back to find ways to move forward in our daily lives.
As I said, I'm making changes. I have not quit my job. I'm not that brave. I haven't moved to the middle of nowhere to only eat what I grow, make my own clothes and bake my own bread. I'm not that talented. And I like shopping. And eating out. And meeting for drinks in the city. I'm not placing a ban on watching TV at home. I love Coronation Street too much and the other household members would probably riot.
However, I am making changes. Just small, simple changes, but these have already started to make a big difference.
Below I have listed 5 very simple and easy changes I've made to try to slow down.
1. Do nothing for fifteen minutes after waking up.
I take fifteen minutes when I first wake up to just sit with my thoughts and ease into my day. As a mother to a toddler and a preschooler, this doesn't always work. However, I set my alarm fifteen minutes earlier than when they usually wake up, and have found that I can often sneak into the living room as my family sleep.
I sit in the silence, with a cup of tea, snuggled under a blanket. It's lovely to take a breath before jumping into the morning rush and the sense of urgency that accompanies it.
2. Choose an activity you usually multi-task and do only that.
I chose playing with my wee ones. I would often be folding laundry, wiping down surfaces, clearing things away as I directed my children towards activities that would keep them busy. Now, even if it is for a short time each day, or during the weekend, I sit and play with my girls and allow myself to be fully in the moment.
If my overactive mind tries to remind me of all the chores I need to do, I tell myself certain things to stay in the moment: Enjoying this moment is my only task; there is nowhere to get to—right now I am here, just be; I will allow myself to relax and enjoy these precious moments with my girls. And I do. It brings me so much pleasure to stay in the moment, to see the girls faces light up with happiness, to hear their laughter, to feel their little hands in mine.
3. Try to say no to things more often, so you and your family have time to be spontaneous.
We are trying to ensure we have some unplanned, technology free time as a family, so we can be spontaneous. It's tricky. The working week is busy, even Saturdays are busy: dance class for my oldest, my husband manages a school's sport team, the house has fell into disarray after a week at work. So we have made Sunday our unplanned time.
We often spend Sundays connecting with the extended family, but we do this in a variety of ways. We decide on the day: to go for a morning walk; or meet in a cafe for brunch; or spend the afternoon at the beach; or meet at someone's house for a roast; or do none of the above and just hang out, sometimes staying in our pjs for the whole day! Basically we allow ourselves time to do what we feel like.
Having the time to do spontaneous things and being able to choose to do as much, or as little as we want, has been a tonic. It gives us a break from, what can feel like, a punishing and never ending regime.
I'm still trying to work out how to get more of this if you have any ideas?
4. Do less
It's hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. So I have made a conscious effort to do less, to focus on what’s really important and let go of the rest. As a start I have decided to: simply shut the door on any mess in the bedrooms during the working week and focus on keeping the main living areas straight; I keep dinner simple; soup, salad and bread is fine; I usually bathe the kids every other night unless they are really dirty.
I am trying to silence my inner critic as I do these things, I'll never satisfy her, so I am not going to bother trying.
5. Spend more time outside, enjoying nature
Many of us spend most of our time in an office, in a car and in our houses, rarely getting the chance to go outside. When we are outside we often rush from A to B, talk on our phones or mentally make to-do lists so, we are not really taking in what is going on around us.
As a family we are trying to make the time to go outside and enjoy nature. We have found it clears the head and makes us feel like we are escaping the rat race for a while. We are very lucky to live in New Zealand, stunning natural beauty is always only a short drive away.
However, we don't want to do this only when we have the time to make a day trip somewhere. We want to feel like we are 'getting away from it all' on a regular basis. So, we have started to take short leisurely walks in the local park and found that this can have the same effect as a trip to a renowned site of natural beauty.
We make a conscious effort to breathe in the fresh air, feel the sun on our faces and the wind in our hair, to slow down and take the time to really look around us. Cheesy? Yes! That's ok though, especially when your with little kiddies. Does it help us to chill out? Definitely. As short as they are, I genuinely think these walks are bringing back a sense of balance to our lives.
So there you have them, my first five simple steps towards a simpler and slower future. I'd love to here from people who are doing or have done things to simplify and slow down their lives. I would love to here your suggestions as to how I can build on these little acorns. There is strength in numbers.
Did you enjoy this article? If so please sign up for my newsletter below and like my Facebook page.
Thanks,
Karen - Raising a Kiwi Princess